The phone call arrives!!

ATTENTION ATTENTION!!
The phone-call I've been waiting for has finally arrived and the beginning of the end is near!!! On Wednesday I will be admitted into Robert Wood Johnson Memorial Hospital in New Brunswick, for about 17 days.  Then once that is over I WILL BE DONE!!!!! While I am in this hospital, I will be able to shower, have a DVD player in my room, and I will do my best to not throw a temper tantrum.  I am just very excited to be done.  Tonight to celebrate the news we went out to dinner at the country club.  Also, Grandma and Grandpa arrive tomorrow for a visit!! I am very excited to see them and just spend the next few days at home relaxing.
Love,
Sarah

4/26 Happy Birthday Teddy!!!

Since it was Teddy's 4th Birthday, Mom, Greg, and I took a trip to CT to celebrate with the little man!!  I arrived with my wig with the hair attached.  Then shortly after we arrived we went to Panera bread for a little lunch, then dropped the boys off and my Aunt Donna, Mom and I went out again.  By the time we got back my head was really itchy so I put on a regular baseball cap.  At dinner Teddy notices and says "Sarah when you went out with the Mommy's did they make you get your head shaved??" "Yes Teddy they did, you have more hair then me now!" He then put his hands on his head to just quickly make sure no one was going to shave his head at the dinner table.  Then Ellie came home from dance as we were leaving and says "I really hope you can come to my dance recital May 12th, since you always go to Sofi's I think you should come see mine."  Well I hate to break it to her and myself, but I will probably be in the hospital then.
But I am almost done!
Love,
Sarah

May the Odds Ever Be in Your Favor!!!

GOOD DAY!! With an early start (about 7:15 to be exact), Mom, Dad, and I headed down to Robert Wood Johnson to discuss with Dr.S my stem cell transplant.  Now for those of you who do not know what that entails, it entails a blast of powerful, then the transplant of my own blood back into my body.  Sounds fun right??? This also entails a 17+ day stay in the hospital.  But they assured me I could have a DVD player in my room, SHOWER, and they will make it as painless as possible.  Then I went home, had some lunch (dinosaur chicken nuggets!), then Greg appeared home from school.  He said lets go see the Hunger Games, since it is free movie Tuesday, I said sure let's go!!  May the Odds Ever be in your Favor, and right now they seem to be!! Then we got home relaxed a little, then had one of my favorite meals for dinner.  Followed by GLEE, and now the Devils Game!
Good Day/Night and now time for BED!!
Love,
Sarah

1 MONTH UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!! 4/23

Today OFFICIALLY begins the countdown until my birthday!!!  30 more days until I am 20!  Also the day I didn't leave my bed, I laid down and watched TV for majority of the day.  I also complained that the DR for tomorrow was too early in the morning! But basically I'm excited for my birthday :)

Weekend 4/20-22

Friday:  Finally got to SHU then felt sick: EPIC FAIL
Saturday: complained that I didn't really get to see any friends and wanted to go back! Also my cousin Clayton and Aunt Lisa were in town for a soccer tournament.  Went to Kohl's with Mom because we were bored and had 30% off!
Sunday: THETA PHI ALPHA FOUNDERS DAY LUNCH!!  FINALLY GOT TO SEE MY SISTERS!! It was a lot of fun, and everyone looked gorgeous! I really did not want to come back home!

Champion Line!

LITTLE <3 

How numbers matter

In this world especially the cancer world, all that matters is numbers.  Today my number is 5...5% to be exact.  Thats the amount that shrunk, and the amount left to shrink.  But I feel defeated, I really thought 6 was the magic treatment number, especially because before and after all my head has done is pound constantly.  I am tired of hearing this could happen if you don't do this, or you won't be able to do this if you don't do that!  But what I am really tired of is a hospital bed.  At this point i will spend all my $$ to have treatment at home, but I know thats not how this works.  I mean the last time I was in the hospital sorry I wasn't on my best behavior; I had my period for the first time in two months, so sorry I was moody and didn't want to be there; if you had cramps I wouldn't want to be stuck in a hospital bed with yucky food either!!!!!!  But no one remembers that side of it, or the fact the nurses didn't tell the head nurse I was ready until numerous hours later with lots of saline, then the chemo started late because there was a tear in the line....BUT NO... they just remember me leaving against medical advice and I learned fast because I scared myself shitless.  Instead Doc says he won't treat me again until I see a psychiatrist, so now in the Doctors eyes I am a "Psychotic Cancer patient!"  This song says it best A Little Bit Stronger by Leighton Meester

Woke up late today
And I still felt the sting of the pain
But I brushed my teeth anyway
Got dressed through the mess
And put a smile on my face
I got a little bit stronger
It doesn't happen overnight
Then you turn around and months gone by
And you realize you haven't cried
I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer
I'm busy getting stronger

Or this song Stronger by Kelly Clarkson
You think you got the best of me
Think you've had the last laugh
Bet you think that everything good is gone
Think you left me broken down
Think that I'd come running back
Baby you don't know me, cause you're dead wrong

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
But Either way I still Cant Control anything and it completely sucks!! Tonight I was so beyond tired I put my pajama bottoms over my sweatpants as shown below.  I just want to be done, enjoy summer and GO BACK TO SCHOOL!! I am tomorrow for the day but I want to be back there permanently.
I NEED A VACATION far away from any hospital beds, where I can go swimming, and whatever else I desire

I'm the next Tiger Woods

Attention followers: I'm the next Tiger Woods!! In the golfing world that is!  Today since I was sick of staying inside and the boys were going golfing at the country club, I tagged along.  I was the golf cart driver, caddy, and I putted for Dad.  Some I made, and some I missed, but that's how it is in every game right?!?  Also, my golf-cart driving skills are superb, I think the next step is letting me drive an actual car again! As soon as we got home of course my stomach started hurting, and then I started complaining.  Before I knew it,  it was dinner time, we ordered in Chinese Food.  Now I am laying in my bed relaxing and watching movies!!!
Love,
Sarah

HOME!!

What a week, I'm glad it's over and that I am home!!! Yesterday my Methotrexate level was still really high so they wanted me to say.  But, I didn't like that answer, I smelled, the port was in severe pain, and the food at the hospital sucks.  So I decided to go against medical advice and go home with Mom.  Then of course we got home and Dad started raising his voice so i worked myself up and then begged to be taken back to the Hospital.  So Mom took out the medicine to help me relax and I fell asleep.  This morning we had to go back to the Dr to see if my levels had gone down and to double check if my kidneys were okay and guess what, they are! So after being hooked back up with sodium bi-carbonate for a few hours Mom and I were allowed to go home for good this time.  Now I have some time off until my MRI on Thursday and I really hope its shows that I am done!  I still wish I could be at formal with my Theta Phi's tonight! However, I am exhausted and going to bed shortly!
Love,
Sarah

Get me outta here!!!

Its Wednesday night and all I want to do is go home!! Either that or go up to SHU to see my sisters and go to formal, do something normal!! The only good thing about today was that Dad brought me Chinese food. Once again I basically tried to sleep all day because I didn't all night. I really hope this is the last one because I honestly don't think I could take anymore. Well that's all for now.
Love,
Sarah

Number 6!

Hello from room 309!! Today here everything's gone wrong. First I was alkaline early but the assistant didn't tell the head nurse so of course the next time they checked it, it was down! But I did get a visit from Beth and the girls. They also gave me a new bag, lip gloss and earrings and I love it all. Then I got a little jealous when Dr.M came in and told me that on Thursday he is leaving for Amsterdam! Then I became alkaline again at 5:30 but no chemo to be found. Night nurse finally brings it at 9 and then of course something goes wrong. First the night nurse thought it was my port and started playing around with the line. Then really come to find it was the line of the chemo bag. So they had to send it back to the pharmacy. In the end I am very frustrated because this could delay when I go home! Now I'm going to bed.
Love
Sarah

EASTER WEEKEND

Buona Pasqua!! Saturday we went to CT to spend the day with most of the cousins! Little did I know it was going to be FREEZING, I would have brought more than just a light sweatshirt.  But it was a lot of fun to see the cousins even though I didn't feel up to being in the cold all day, with a little bit of Rock Band in-between.  There was lots of food over this weekend so basically I don't feel like eating again.  But this morning the "Easter Bunny' arrived and brought me a penguin iPhone case, and some clothes!!!! Now it is time to relax and gear up for treatment #6 which is hopefully the final one!!!
Love,
Sarah

Passover!!

Today was hopefully my last outpatient treatment of Retuxin.  Then after sleeping the whole time at treatment and at home it was time to go to the Scannella Residence for Passover dinner!!  Now originally I wanted to skip it, but boy am I glad I did not!!  The Scannella boys provided wonderful entertainment throughout dinner.  It started out with Micheal collecting our phones to keep any texting or other phone activity.  From there, well lets just say things got interesting, and Caryn only mixed up the boys names a couple of times.  Then before I know it, Mom said it was time to go because we are leaving early tomorrow for CT to spend the day with the cousins!!
Love,
Sarah

Week goes by too fast

I cannot believe it is already Thursday.  Yesterday I spent the day updating my iTunes and pouting over the fact One Tree Hill was ending.  I have been watching the show since I was ten, Mom was like "how did I allow you to watch this show at age 10", but you did!!!  Still all that's on my mind is being reunited with my friends, Mom's still worried about letting me go, but I'm going to ask Dr. M again tomorrow if it's OKAY!  I mean Mom and Dad get to see their friends all the time, I just want one weekend with mine, then I'd stop complaining and just wait until the summer when we can all hangout or in August when I go back to SHU!  Thats it not much has really changed
Sarah

Entertainer of the Year

Well this morning woke up about 9:45 and let the Dawidowicz household entertainment begin!! Greg and I went to say good morning to Mom and then fought our way down the stairs to see who got to make our frozen waffles first.  I claimed that I should because his chocolate chip waffles make the toaster smell.  Now this is the thing, Greg had his hands in a place they shouldn't be, which he knows annoys me, and without washing his hands, he proceeded to touch appliances the whole family uses such as the refrigerator, freezer, toaster and pantry door handle. I freaked out and got out the Windex and started spraying everything....Including him!!!!  Throughout this whole debacle, Mom was "hiding" and Dad told us to knock it off.  Finally it was time for Greg to get ready for school, and I went back to bed and remained there for the day watching TV and sleeping because I had a headache.  Finally it was dinner time and we had chicken caesar wraps.  Then I showered and am back in bed listening to music because absolutely nothing is on television!  Well thats it for now, tomorrow I have a dr appt but other than that I'll be here!!
Love,
Sarah

What did I do today......

What did I do today....well the answer to that would be relax and watch television in my room.  Also Greg and I went grocery shopping for ingredients to make cookies...which Mom made and not Greg.  I also finally updated my music on iTunes because I have gotten so many gift cards :).  Oh and I also made a tentative Fall 2012 schedule for SHU, and to make Mom happy I applied to 2 schools near home so that I would have "options."  Well now I'm off to bed!!
Night Everyone!
Love
Sarah

April Fools

GUESS WHO GOT TO GO TO SHU TODAY....ME!!!!......APRIL FOOL'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In reality I begged too, then wore myself out enough that I slept most of the afternoon.  I honestly cannot wait to go back....August 27th cannot come fast enough.  Then by the time I woke up, it was dinner time and then I got ready for bed and in bed I shall remain until the morning.  Other than that not much happening here, aside from hoping that #6 is the final hospital stay so keep your fingers crossed!
Love,
Sarah